tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21950948268847812202024-02-02T03:15:08.671-06:00The Journey of a Thousand MilesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-22326134289665066652016-08-06T23:28:00.003-05:002016-08-06T23:28:38.669-05:00The Hollywood True Story: Miss Jean Louis<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 22.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The
Hollywood True Story: Miss Jean Louis<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">October 1961<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I don’t remember the exact day I
met him. I remember the frost in the air as winter tickled its teasing fingers
in and out of the days and nights and pulling my scarf farther up my neck to
cover my mouth as I gazed upon the children still playing in Central Park. The
sun was beginning to set and parents were shouting for their little ones to
come so they could leave. I back stepped onto the path and nearly fell as
someone brushed against me. His murmured apologies as he steadied me before
backing away and walking faster caught me off guard, but more so was the sense
of wonderment I felt at being touched by someone who seemed so untouchable. The
presidential election was close to fruition and this man, this heart-throb, was
the leading candidate, a man admired by most and chosen to win. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I knew I had to have him—in some
way, shape, or form. I knew I had to know him. You see, many underestimate my
stubborn nature and extreme passion. When something or someone stumbles across
my path and they make me feel something other—a deeper connection of sorts—I
know, deep down in my bones, they are not ones to get away. And he wasn’t one I
could just leave to a simple stroke of the arm and steadying of the back. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Before my brain could really
process the repercussions, I found myself running after him and snagging his
coat with the tips of my fingers. He turned around and I tilted my head to the
side while my eyes burned a path from his hairline to his jaw. He was a magnificent
being. His face strong, stoic, though his eyes told a different story. They
were warm, inviting, and something about the way he viewed me cemented my
decision in knowing this man. He was one of a kind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Our conversation blossomed and we
went to dinner that same night. He told me about his ambitions for the future
of America while I remained mesmerized by his every word. If there was one word
I could wrap around this man to bundle his whole persona up in a tidy bow, it
would be charisma. He had it in the bucket loads and it wasn’t long before I
decided we needed to know each other on another, more cellular, level. He was
engrossing and had me squirming in my seat with each breath behind every word
he spoke. The words didn’t matter at that point. I had to have him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">November 1961<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Brushing
my hands down my skirt, I paced the small space of my unique New York studio
apartment. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He</i> was in D.C. awaiting
the announcement of his probable election and induction as the thirty-fifth
president of the United States. While he had already spent time within the
House of Representatives and U.S. Senate, I was a mess. I wanted this for him.
I wanted his dreams to come true, possibly more than he wanted it, though I
couldn’t be sure. His beautiful face flashed on the screen in black and white
and then they spanned to his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wife</i>. I
was still unsure how I felt about him being married, but he assured me their
marriage was a business deal of sorts. With our ever-emerging acceptance of
relationships, marriage wasn’t as sacred anymore, so I chose to believe him.
And I feel I chose right for that time of my life. What we had wasn’t perfect,
by any means, but it felt right, and that was all that mattered to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
announcer came to the stage with the vote numbers intact just as my service cut
out. I cursed the world while adjusting my antennas, to no avail. I was left to
live in suspense for the remainder of the evening, awaiting a phone call. I sat
up for hours, pacing back and forth, eyeing my phone as if I could will the call
to come, but it never did. That should have been my first sign. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
woke to breath tickling my neck and a warm body laying against my back. Rolling
over, I stared up into deep green-grey eyes and every ounce of anxiety I had
dissolved with the heat that accompanied his gaze. It had been five days since
the election, but before I could utter the question most prevalent in my mind,
he closed the space between us, his soft lips pressing against mine. My brain
became fuzzy, lost in the sensations that were him. Just him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
next morning, he told me to call him Mr. President. And I did, gladly. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">May 1962<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
dew of spring was making itself known on the blades of grass and flowers
blooming once again. My relationship with John had grown exponentially, and while
he was gone often due to the demand of being in office, he visited just as
often. Our relationship was flourishing and I couldn’t remember a time when I
was happier than in those moments. Of course, doubt started to set in at times,
but I quickly brushed it away. He phoned almost every night and spoke often of
his daily struggles and concerns. He took my opinion and really made me feel
like I mattered in his voice as a whole upon the United States. He was a
sharer, and a giver. He really was so perfect. That should have been my second
sign, but I was blissful and in love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His
birthday was coming up within the next week and I had something planned after
the fundraising event he was holding at Madison Square Gardens. Since he was
going to be in town, we had the weekend to ourselves and I planned to spend
every waking moment with him, and then some in the non-waking hours. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
night of the fundraising event, I was nervous, but not because I was naïve.
When he invited me to the event, he told me appearances must be kept, and I
understood what he was referring to. The first lady was a fine woman, one who
was looked up to on most accounts, and in the eyes of America, she and her
husband were very in love. I knew the score, and had met her on numerous occasions
in the past. She knew who I was to her husband and we remained cordial as
acquaintances. It allowed some ease to the nerves, but something else felt
amiss. I had a terrible feeling in my gut. I had been trying to ignore the
sensation throughout the past few days, but the knots continued to tighten and
I couldn’t figure out why. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
mingled for a while at the event before finding my seat. I was across the aisle
from John, my seat almost next to his one table over. The crowd for the evening
was exquisite and everyone was pleased as punch at being invited to such an
honorable affair. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As
the night wore on, my unease didn’t settle in the slightest and I found myself
having one sip of champagne too many. As the dinner nearly drew to a close, one
I was very welcoming of, an actress took to the microphone. She was gorgeous,
more becoming than many ladies in the room. Her face was familiar and I
recalled seeing a film of hers, but that was all. Her voice was small, but
husky and sexy at the same time as she spoke his name into the amplifier. My
hackles rose as I spun to look toward John, but he seemed just as perplexed at
her wanting to make a speech. I continued to watch the exchange between the two
of them as she gave her thanks to a great man and president. I couldn’t say I
disagreed with her, but I was still so confused. Why did she feel the need to
take the stage in the first place? And how did she know John on a level
personal enough for her feel so brazen? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
chalked my worry up to the alcohol and pushed my questions away. I didn’t have
time to feel the jealousy she brought out within me and I didn’t want to ruin
my plans for later. The evening came to an end without any more odd occurrences
and I was excited to share my surprise—a little “Happy Birthday” song to my
president in the privacy of my apartment. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">June 1962 <o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
tabloids were running amok with false accusations and I couldn’t fathom how my
private session with John could have been found out, let alone made into such a
mockery of a fundraising event that went off without a hitch. The constant
headlines of John having an affair with Ms. Monroe was absurd, on top of
claiming she sang the exact rendition of “Happy Birthday” during the event I
had shared with my love in the privacy of my home. I was baffled at the audacity,
and so angry. The claims made against him had him backing away from our
relationship and the rejection hurt. I certainly hadn’t sold any information to
the tabloids and the accusations should have been another warning sign, but I
was too upset. Why would I want to ruin what he and I shared? I had no interest
in ruining his reputation, I only wanted him, and our love to stand a chance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
nights grew colder with how distant he had become. His visits shallowed to one
weekend a month and his calls were two nights a week. He was running constant
damage control and it seemed all the fingers were pointing toward me. I felt
lonely, and hollow. My emotions were on a whirlwind between hurt, sadness,
confusion, and anger, and I felt myself retreating into a dark corner of my
mind. It felt like we were ending, like everything special about our love was
being paraded around to the public with a different name attached the
headlines, but I was lost as to how. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Unfortunately, I was also stuck. I
couldn’t necessarily come out to the public about the relationship I had with John—he
was fielding enough anger and hate-fueled responses to an affair that never
was—and I didn’t want to. What we had was sacred and I didn’t want to ruin our
strong bond with more lies and ridicule. I wanted to savor every ounce of time
we spend together as he seemed to grow more and more distant to keep his
integrity and reputation intact. He didn’t deserve the gossip. He was a good
man with strong morals and hearing the public speak so tersely of him made my
heart ache and only added to the canyon seemingly separating us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">December 1962<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Life
went on as days turned into weeks turned into months. John and I got better. We
found a sturdier ground and the misfortunes brought upon us seemed to wade into
the distance. We were better. Our relationship became more normal and we, as a
couple, began to flourish, but by this time, president or not, I was still
carrying a heavy weight on my shoulders. He had an image to upkeep, and he was
married. It was becoming harder and harder to reconcile to that fact, and that
it wouldn’t change. In the end, I would never be his and that’s what started
weighing the heaviest. We had been “together” for over a year, yet we were
going nowhere. It felt like everything we had, every emotion we felt, meant
nothing, and the burden of our secret was starting to become unbearable, but I
forged on. I couldn’t not. He meant the world to me and imagining a life
without him became difficult. I was his—plain and simple. And he was mine, no
matter the circumstance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">June 1963<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
tabloids were relentless and so many women started speaking out. I had no idea
whether I should have believed them, but something was starting to smell fishy
where John was concerned. One, he had started becoming so back and forth with
things he said and did. He was once so reliable and always there. He made me
feel cared for in a way I had never imagined, but then all that stopped and I
just started feeling like a resting place for the night. We still shared
weekends together when he could get away, but between his job and interference,
I felt seventh rate, and I hated the feeling. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In
February, I had pretty much declared us over. I couldn’t handle any of it
anymore and felt like I had lost a piece of myself in the process, which
welcomed my second point. As soon as I backed away, he became more persistent
and interested. Our one weekend every couple months became two a month and all
the phone calls he said he would make, he did. Unfortunately, I was relying on
him too much and realized the fault in my ways. I could enjoy him in many
physical manners, but he had become unreliable and me wanting distance hadn’t
changed what I already knew. He started calling at minimum four times a week
and I found myself laughing at how much his ways had changed when I backed
away. This only cemented my endeavor to get away. It was a sign I should have
already picked up on. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had
become cold to him, but not relationships as a whole. I had just found myself
and my worth, and honestly, he wasn’t worthy, but I still loved him. One can
change everything but the heart, and at the end of the day, my heart was taken
by all the attention he decided to give after I made the move. It made me feel
even more empowered. I didn’t let the tabloids get to me and took back myself.
Though, I was still curious. And all his answers proved innocent. Of course. I
had started rolling my eyes at his act of innocence. I was over being that girl
who only saw through rose-colored glassed. He could tell me what he would, he
could tell me he loved me a thousand times over, but where was the change? It
didn’t exist, and I thrived on change. I thrived on growing, and from what I
could tell, he was only growing desperate. So why couldn’t I hate him? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I didn’t think I ever would hate
him really, but I knew it was my time to say goodbye to him and his life. I was
better than him, better than everything we had become. It was good while it
lasted, though. I will always have love for him, and I can’t say we didn’t have
a great run. Only, just a few short weeks later, we found ourselves together
again, in my bed, enjoying what we shared best. And this time, the tabloids
found us. My name wasn’t the one spread far and wide, though. It was Marilyn
again. Perhaps I looked like her, I’m not sure, but I found myself laughing at
the mess he had to clean up at someone else’s expense. It’s a shame now, with
what happened to her, and I feel bad about never coming forward with any of it.
In fact, it’s a shame that that was the last I time I saw John before he passed
away in a horrible accident. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The worst part was that I felt
dignified in this media outrage. It felt like the final closure I needed to
move on from John. There were many things that happened after that moment, but
that’s a story for another time. In many ways, I still feel justified in my
actions, but in many others, I feel terrible seeing as I’m still here, still
conquering everything this world has to offer, while their lives had ended so
soon—too soon. Regardless, I can’t take back my decisions. We all make choices,
and I don’t regret mine. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Until next time…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
XOXO<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 22.0pt; line-height: 107%;">, Jean Louis<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-52593596968103371862013-10-02T00:03:00.003-05:002013-10-02T00:04:41.935-05:00Rose State Writing Short Course<div>
I have so much to say on here! I can't believe I haven't updated in so long. Well, so you are aware, the title of Deception is no longer attached to my current project. I'm going back to calling it "Lili's Story" at least for the purposes of this blog. Any of you who are friends with my on my writing Facebook page know the true new title.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
I spent last weekend in Midwest City at the Rose State College Writing Short Course. It was my first time at a Writer's Conference and can I just say...<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Wow.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have never felt so inspired in my life. I didn't send anything in ahead of time for any of the contests, which they passed out awards for on Friday, but I did turn in my First Page for an anonymous panel to read aloud and judge. Out of over one hundred entries, they picked my first page of Lili's Story for Third Place. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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This happened less than an hour after my very first one-on-one pitch session with an agent. After getting to know the agents a bit, I knew I had made the right decision in the one I chose to pitch to. She was excited about Lili's Story and asked me query her right away when it was ready. I couldn't believe it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Overall, the weekend was a massive success. I was given a one month deadline to query the agent in question with a finished manuscript so my life during the month of October will be one thing and one thing only:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Writing.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
To give you guys another little update, as of the finished outline today, Lili's Story will have twenty chapters. Fourteen and a half of these chapters have been written at a total of 40,000+ words.</div>
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<br /></div>
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That... is a little staggering to me. Still. And I figured up that number in the wee hours of the morning yesterday. Whoa.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I've got to get writing. Adios, Bloggers!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-45575506799625858332013-08-31T23:05:00.000-05:002013-08-31T23:09:01.468-05:00Working Playlist for DeceptionSo, because I've gotten several requests for my character playlists... and because I'm procrastinating my writing tonight, I thought I would go through what I have for Deception as of right now and possibly link it up with some quotes from the story. For those of you who don't know the plot yet, I'm sorry but I can't tell you on here! I didn't plan to have 8 songs a piece for them but it's funny that's how it worked out!<br />
<br />
Hope you enjoy!<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><u>ZANE:</u></b><br />
<br />
<b><i>Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park</i></b><br />
This is just his theme song for the book. He's finding something that makes him want to finally let go of his past.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Never Surrender - Skillet</i></b><br />
"That was the worst part, really. That I didn’t even want it to go back. Whatever change happened to make me see Lili clearly, I didn’t want it to go away." - Zane, Ch. 7<br />
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Just Friends - Jason Reeves</i></b></div>
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</div>
<div class="p1">
"But how could I keep this up? Smiling and pretending it doesn’t feel like razors in blood stream to hear her talk about this Marine guy she’s hooking up with." - Zane, Ch. 7</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Gone Forever - Three Days Grace</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"“Don’t you think I spent the <span class="s1"><i>entire </i></span>night trying to figure that out? What excuse could she possibly have for this?” My voice was loud and Tish didn’t have an answer, he just shook his head and stepped aside, clearing the path so I could finish getting ready for work." - Zane, Ch. 9</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Scars - Papa Roach</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
This one I LOVE for Zane! I listened to it as I wrote most of Ch. 11</div>
<div class="p1">
“Fine. You can stay until morning but you have to stay the fuck in this room, Lizzie. I mean it. I don’t care if you have to climb out the window and piss under a tree you are not to open this door or come out. Do you understand?” - Zane, Ch. 11</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>What Lies Beneath - Linkin Park</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"“You,” I leaned back, narrowing my eyes at Lizzie, refusing to back down. It was time for the truth. All of it. “Are the one thing I regret every fucking day. I should’ve never fallen for your shit to begin with. You’re like a the worst kind of drug and every time I relapse I hate myself more.”" - Zane, Ch. 11</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
"So I stood, clenching my trembling hands into fists at my sides while I let her silence peel every bit of sanity from my being and prayed that I could take it. I wanted to take it. I would take her pain too, if I could." - Zane, Ch. 13</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<i><b>Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute</b></i></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"I watched the room lighten slowly, my eyes heavy but I wasn’t about to miss a second of this night. I continued running my fingers through Lili’s hair long after her breathing evened out."</div>
<div class="p1">
- Zane, Ch. 15</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><u>LILI:</u></b></div>
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<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Runaway - Pink</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
This is Lili's Theme Song for her life but it will also come into play later with a quote...</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>You Make Me Sick - Pink </i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"I spent the entire day Sunday feeling a blend of nervousness and excitement about seeing Jordan again. Also, there was a great deal of irritation at myself for feeling so nervous and excited. It was a vicious cycle. I stood in front of the mirror on my closet door, frowning at my reflection as I tried not to see all the problems with my outfit. This wasn’t me. All this being nervous and worrying about what someone would think of my outfit. It was frustrating." - Lili, Ch. 6</div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i><br /></i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>E.T. - Katy Perry</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"Most of the time, the shy boys like Jordan, the ones who weren’t as confident even though they were gorgeous and had every right to be, annoyed the hell out of me. But there was something about him that was different." - Lili, Ch. 6</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
<i><b>Breathe Me - Sia</b></i></div>
<div class="p1">
"I wanted to cry and I hated myself even more for it. I had no right to feel sad. I had done this. I had fucked everything up and now I had to get out." - Lili, Ch. 10</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Runaway - Pink</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"All three sets of eyes were on me now and I dropped my hand, fighting to clear my expression and hold my emotions in check again but I could feel my body trembling from the tension. I was either going to be sick or pass out and I couldn’t do either right now in front of these people."</div>
<div class="p1">
- Lili, Ch. 12</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Take A Bow - Rihanna</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"“I fucking hate you, Zane,” it hurt to speak but I put all the betrayal and venom I could behind the words. I stared straight into his eyes, letting every bit of truth I felt show." - Lili, Ch. 12</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
</div>
<div class="p1">
"I knew I would regret it in the morning but as I buried my face against his chest, inhaling the scent of him and resting my head on his arm, I couldn’t find it in me to care. I would deal with the consequences to my heart later." - Lili, Ch. 14</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<b><i>My Heart - Paramore</i></b></div>
<div class="p1">
Okay, so I haven't written the scene where this song will come into play but it is a pivotal scene in the book and when I heard this song, I could see the scene in my head. Because of this, I will quote the song to you...</div>
<div class="p1">
"This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)</div>
<div class="p1">
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)"</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-72595985366062634382013-08-26T23:36:00.000-05:002013-08-26T23:42:15.834-05:00One MonthIt's 11:23pm and in just over half an hour, it'll be one month exactly until the writing conference. Deadline is looming and I've spent the entire weekend staring at the massive amounts of editing I now have to do and the possibility of a complete rewrite of my first chapter. Just the IDEA of rewriting chapter one and taking out what I always saw as a key scene to the past of one of my main characters is heart-breaking but staring at the screen to actually change it left me with a migraine that kept me in bed all day today.<br />
<br />
I. Hate. Stress.<br />
<br />
So, in saying all of that, I'm admitting to all of my wonderful friends here that I have not written a single word in over a week. Not. One. Nothing at all since Kansas City. I have let myself get stressed and overwhelmed once again and I lost my focus. Now, it's only a month before I'm supposed to pitch a finished product to agents, and the odds of being where I need to be are dwindling by the day. That thought is letting the doubt creep in even further.<br />
<br />
Couple that with the fact that all of the sudden my characters for the book I was trying to focus on are being eerily quiet when I need them to tell me this story, and I'm all out of motivation on this one. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, the main character of Book 2 is starting to stir in my mind and bringing her story back out of the box a little. It won't help me for the conference because I'm nowhere near where I need to be to pitch Book 2 instead of Book 3 but at least if someone is talking in my head I can get somewhere with my writing... if that makes sense.<br />
<br />
One month. Four weeks. Thirty days. If I write one thousand words a day, which is my daily goal, that's another 30,000 words before I go. That would put Book 3 at over 60,000. The question is, can I find my focus and swim through the muddy waters of my characters thoughts to get there?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-62647876618495673142013-06-06T01:48:00.001-05:002013-06-06T01:48:45.932-05:00New Project and Musical InspirationOne of the funniest things to me as a writer is how much music can affect my mood and my characters.<br />
<br />
I was struggling with my first story and had put it aside, not writing on it as much. As a matter of fact, I started writing an AU fan fiction for a book series I had read for my book club instead. I wrote over 30,000 words for that fan fiction in about ten days. That's something I've never done.<br />
<br />
Inspiration came, as it so often does for me, in the form of a song. The song Untitled by Simple Plan started coming through the speakers of my car and with it came this awesome new idea for a book. So, here I am officially working on my new project. We'll call it Project 2.<br />
<br />
So far in Project 2, my playlist is six songs long and that doesn't include Untitled. I've had some major research to do with this project and for these characters. There are five characters that the story will revolve around but it is told in first person from a female lead.<br />
<br />
Let's call her AP. AP has a brother we'll call ZP. AP also has two boys she'll be dealing with other than her brother. AB and NM.<br />
<br />
Yes, the love triangle. Those of you who know me know how strongly I feel about the love triangles but you'll just have to trust me that this one is different.<br />
<br />
I don't know how other writer's do it but to get a feel for new characters, I jump to a scene I know will happen and try to write it out to get to know the character. I started with AP for obvious reasons, writing the beginning of her story. Next, I wrote a scene between AP and NM with the song Collide by Howie Day as my inspiration. It came on my Pandora and the scene I needed practically wrote itself.<br />
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Tonight, I was struggling to get my head in the correct place to find AB's voice. I needed to get a feel for AB but I'm working two jobs right now and my head is fuzzy when it comes to creativity when I get this tired. (Exhaustion, most likely.) But out of nowhere, Pandora delivered inspiration yet again in the form of Broken by Lifehouse. That song screamed AB to me and helped me find his voice perfectly.<br />
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I don't always write with music but I'd say at least 90% of my inspiration comes in the form of a song. Not necessarily the lyrics but the tone of the song or even the music video can be inspirational for me at times.<br />
<br />
Maybe one day if Project 2 ever gets published, I'll be asked about my writing process and be able to share things like this with my readers. For now, I'll continue to document my journey here ;)<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-15110278188613448142013-06-03T15:24:00.002-05:002013-06-03T15:24:46.689-05:00BookplatesThat's right, I'm posting an entire blog in order to get a bookplate from The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater. I won an ARC of The Raven Boys last summer and as it is the only signed book and only ARC I own (plus that it's actually my favorite author) I am really hoping to get a bookplate with her artwork. So, here is a picture of me with both my ARC and my hardcover copy of The Raven Boys! And if you haven't read The Raven Boys, you really should. I'm looking forward to The Dream Thieves. Only 105 days left according to my countdown.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt_Enl1KNEhiegTzkYyD-AS_kWh8pUrcZvHNgPyKdyyi55OkU1_FxYVtvf-8va71HRO38FmCBzOXXrbXXEYIYltaUqKEQeNc6wRfafbsE7s3iJzvufpBkVfe802yiVNkrMj4Yd_n0q8cU/s1600/photo+(5).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt_Enl1KNEhiegTzkYyD-AS_kWh8pUrcZvHNgPyKdyyi55OkU1_FxYVtvf-8va71HRO38FmCBzOXXrbXXEYIYltaUqKEQeNc6wRfafbsE7s3iJzvufpBkVfe802yiVNkrMj4Yd_n0q8cU/s320/photo+(5).JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-16710163791894436592013-03-24T22:19:00.000-05:002013-03-24T22:19:49.663-05:00Amazing DayYesterday I was supposed to spend the day with a close friend but at the last minute the plans were cancelled. Given that I had gone to a concert Friday night and didn't get any writing done, a part of me was almost excited to spend the day in front of my computer. It turned out to be the most productive day I've had so far.<br />
<br />
Just over 4,400 words written yesterday before I went to bed at 2am! It felt amazing. I finished chapter 2 and nearly all of chapter 3, leaving myself very little to finish it off today. This evening I decided to spend some time editing. After changing from third person to first person midway through chapter 2, I left myself a lot of work to do editing chapter 1 to switch it over. But it's done now and I've been working slowly on chapter 2. It's changed over to first person now but it's still got issues. I was looking too far ahead, excited for my two main characters to meet for the first time, and so there are a few gaps in chapter 2 I'm having to patch. It's led me to a new realization...<br />
<br />
Writing is fun. It's work, but it's fun work. Editing, not so much. It's just work.<br />
<br />
And with that, I'm off to spend the rest of my night in the messy world of editing.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2195094826884781220.post-27614241001925015732013-03-23T01:32:00.000-05:002013-03-24T22:23:49.909-05:00Number OneSo this will officially be my first post. Makes sense to start a blog at the beginning of a journey like this, although the journey <i>actually </i>began years ago with the idea...<br />
<br />
Writing is fun, sharing that writing is a scary concept and I'm nowhere near at the point that I'm about to do it yet. Hopefully, this blog and the time it takes me to write my story, the one I hope will be a book someday, will help me find that courage.<br />
<br />
So, this is my online journal. It will show my journey to the world. Triumphs and failures laid out on the table.<br />
<br />
Today... well, today is still TBD but yesterday was a triumph. The first day I set an official writing goal for myself and I surpassed it. Almost doubled it, actually. But so far today has been struggle. I was attempting to writing this piece (I'll refer to it as MC for future reference) in third person because I know in later stories I hope to have more than just one POV. It's not working out so well for me. I relate better to characters when I write in first person, just as I do when I read.<br />
<br />
So, I'm giving in. At least for now, MC will be first person in the POV of my female protagonist.<br />
<br />
And in looking at the journal post, I see that I use the word "so" far too much at the start of paragraphs...<br />
<br />
So, I'll be doing so research for a new word to use in place of "so."<br />
<br />
Hope everyone has a good weekend!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11073221872030778938noreply@blogger.com0