Saturday, August 31, 2013

Working Playlist for Deception

So, because I've gotten several requests for my character playlists... and because I'm procrastinating my writing tonight, I thought I would go through what I have for Deception as of right now and possibly link it up with some quotes from the story. For those of you who don't know the plot yet, I'm sorry but I can't tell you on here! I didn't plan to have 8 songs a piece for them but it's funny that's how it worked out!

Hope you enjoy!


Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park
This is just his theme song for the book. He's finding something that makes him want to finally let go of his past.

Never Surrender - Skillet
"That was the worst part, really. That I didn’t even want it to go back. Whatever change happened to make me see Lili clearly, I didn’t want it to go away." - Zane, Ch. 7

Just Friends - Jason Reeves
"But how could I keep this up? Smiling and pretending it doesn’t feel like razors in blood stream to hear her talk about this Marine guy she’s hooking up with." - Zane, Ch. 7

Gone Forever - Three Days Grace
"“Don’t you think I spent the entire night trying to figure that out? What excuse could she possibly have for this?” My voice was loud and Tish didn’t have an answer, he just shook his head and stepped aside, clearing the path so I could finish getting ready for work." - Zane, Ch. 9

Scars - Papa Roach
This one I LOVE for Zane! I listened to it as I wrote most of Ch. 11
“Fine. You can stay until morning but you have to stay the fuck in this room, Lizzie. I mean it. I don’t care if you have to climb out the window and piss under a tree you are not to open this door or come out. Do you understand?” - Zane, Ch. 11

What Lies Beneath - Linkin Park
"“You,” I leaned back, narrowing my eyes at Lizzie, refusing to back down. It was time for the truth. All of it. “Are the one thing I regret every fucking day. I should’ve never fallen for your shit to begin with. You’re like a the worst kind of drug and every time I relapse I hate myself more.”" - Zane, Ch. 11

Feels Like Tonight - Daughtry
"So I stood, clenching my trembling hands into fists at my sides while I let her silence peel every bit of sanity from my being and prayed that I could take it. I wanted to take it. I would take her pain too, if I could." - Zane, Ch. 13

Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute
"I watched the room lighten slowly, my eyes heavy but I wasn’t about to miss a second of this night. I continued running my fingers through Lili’s hair long after her breathing evened out."
- Zane, Ch. 15


Runaway - Pink
This is Lili's Theme Song for her life but it will also come into play later with a quote...

You Make Me Sick - Pink 
"I spent the entire day Sunday feeling a blend of nervousness and excitement about seeing Jordan again. Also, there was a great deal of irritation at myself for feeling so nervous and excited. It was a vicious cycle. I stood in front of the mirror on my closet door, frowning at my reflection as I tried not to see all the problems with my outfit. This wasn’t me. All this being nervous and worrying about what someone would think of my outfit. It was frustrating." - Lili, Ch. 6

E.T. - Katy Perry
"Most of the time, the shy boys like Jordan, the ones who weren’t as confident even though they were gorgeous and had every right to be, annoyed the hell out of me. But there was something about him that was different." - Lili, Ch. 6

Breathe Me - Sia
"I wanted to cry and I hated myself even more for it. I had no right to feel sad. I had done this. I had fucked everything up and now I had to get out." - Lili, Ch. 10

Runaway - Pink
"All three sets of eyes were on me now and I dropped my hand, fighting to clear my expression and hold my emotions in check again but I could feel my body trembling from the tension. I was either going to be sick or pass out and I couldn’t do either right now in front of these people."
- Lili, Ch. 12

Take A Bow - Rihanna
"“I fucking hate you, Zane,” it hurt to speak but I put all the betrayal and venom I could behind the words. I stared straight into his eyes, letting every bit of truth I felt show." - Lili, Ch. 12

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
"I knew I would regret it in the morning but as I buried my face against his chest, inhaling the scent of him and resting my head on his arm, I couldn’t find it in me to care. I would deal with the consequences to my heart later." - Lili, Ch. 14

My Heart - Paramore
Okay, so I haven't written the scene where this song will come into play but it is a pivotal scene in the book and when I heard this song, I could see the scene in my head. Because of this, I will quote the song to you...
"This heart, it beats, beats for only you (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)
My heart, my heart is yours (Please don't go now, please don't fade away)"

Monday, August 26, 2013

One Month

It's 11:23pm and in just over half an hour, it'll be one month exactly until the writing conference. Deadline is looming and I've spent the entire weekend staring at the massive amounts of editing I now have to do and the possibility of a complete rewrite of my first chapter. Just the IDEA of rewriting chapter one and taking out what I always saw as a key scene to the past of one of my main characters is heart-breaking but staring at the screen to actually change it left me with a migraine that kept me in bed all day today.

I. Hate. Stress.

So, in saying all of that, I'm admitting to all of my wonderful friends here that I have not written a single word in over a week. Not. One. Nothing at all since Kansas City. I have let myself get stressed and overwhelmed once again and I lost my focus. Now, it's only a month before I'm supposed to pitch a finished product to agents, and the odds of being where I need to be are dwindling by the day. That thought is letting the doubt creep in even further.

Couple that with the fact that all of the sudden my characters for the book I was trying to focus on are being eerily quiet when I need them to tell me this story, and I'm all out of motivation on this one. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, the main character of Book 2 is starting to stir in my mind and bringing her story back out of the box a little. It won't help me for the conference because I'm nowhere near where I need to be to pitch Book 2 instead of Book 3 but at least if someone is talking in my head I can get somewhere with my writing... if that makes sense.

One month. Four weeks. Thirty days. If I write one thousand words a day, which is my daily goal, that's another 30,000 words before I go. That would put Book 3 at over 60,000. The question is, can I find my focus and swim through the muddy waters of my characters thoughts to get there?